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Sunday, May 28, 2006
Saturday, May 27, 2006
ｐｌｕｓｈ a little disappointed, but very much delighted. a day of pleasant surprises... because of my superman. Friday, May 26, 2006
看完他的日記 又發堀了更多的共通點 特別是看到戀愛症候群的那一篇的時候 慢慢開始覺得 我們是注定的 不過似乎是注定遺憾的 沒關係 很想戲劇化的學日本電影 說一句: "無論如何 能認識你真好" 現在的距離 好難維持 心裡清楚 遲早需要將一切說破然後劃清界線 不然就是往前跨越那條線 不管之後的後果 可是現在只想細細品嘗回味每一分每一秒 讓右肩上的觸覺重量 慢慢蔓延 形成一種 甜蜜的意識 Sunday, May 21, 2006
雖然完全摸不清楚狀況 可是覺得很心滿意足 你也是嗎? 在捷運上兩個人拿出同一本書來看 實在是很愚蠢 想到時就會忍不住笑 可是不是因為愚蠢 那感覺是什麼? 沒關係 不要去想的太仔細 不要去為它冠上理論邏輯 船到橋頭總是自然直
補習班被我喊了幾天聖倫哥的 結果原來只有19歲 身邊有很多年紀比我小 可是感覺上比我成熟很多的人 遇上了這麼多可以努力工作也可以努力享樂的人 這些待人處事大方得體 情緒圓融的人 這些不斷努力充實自己的人 真的讓我開始好好反省自己 以前有過很多為了我好 企圖改變我的人 始終沒有成功過 反而一個個受到我的不良影響 這次感覺真的很不一樣 十一點了 我要去準備睡覺了
聽他們的故事聽到淚盈框 我不曉得為什麼這麼投入 可是好希望他們可以有個happy ending 就算需要犧牲我自己的happy ending也無所謂 我似乎擅長使人困惑 可是越是在乎那個人就越是不願使出這招數 我想我... 終究還是學不會自私 Saturday, May 20, 2006
The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test the Questioner Test finished! you chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX. "I am affectionate and skeptical" Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative. How to Get Along with Me * Be direct and clear. * Listen to me carefully. * Don't judge me for my anxiety. * Work things through with me. * Reassure me that everything is OK between us. * Laugh and make jokes with me. * Gently push me toward new experiences. * Try not to overreact to my overreacting. What I Like About Being a Six * being committed and faithful to family and friends * being responsible and hardworking * being compassionate toward others * having intellect and wit * being a nonconformist * confronting danger bravely * being direct and assertive What's Hard About Being a Six * the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind * procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself * fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of * exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger * wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right * being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations Sixes as Children Often * are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn * are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger * form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent * look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel * are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent Sixes as Parents * are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty * are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence * worry more than most that their children will get hurt * sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries link the "what's hard about being a six" part is so true it's freaking me out.
le chateau des gateaux patisserie & gourmet if godiva is the queen of chocolates this is like the inter-galactic ruler of patisseries *total bliss*
why does everyone i know have to be reading The Kite Runner? it's killing me that i haven't gotten around to it yet. it's just sitting on the my bookshelf, mocking me... it's in people's hands in starbucks, mocking me... it's on someone's lap on the metro, mocking me... it's popping up on people's blogs, mocking me... *sobs*
tried the whole sleeping just as i expected, instead of waking up refreshed and ready for work, i woke up after just over 2 hours of sleep and entirely too early. it's a bit past 7 right now... should i do the smart thing and check in from 8-12 and go see my new baby niece in the afternoon? or should i keep my 10:00am appointment and work till evening? *yawn* i think i'm going to go with the stupid (latter) plan. i'll sleep on the metro... *unconvinced* after a quick and lazy deliberation, i have half decided against taking the june 10th GREs, seeing as i haven't touched any of the GRE books yet. i'm more and more inclined not to stay in vancouver/north america after grad. more than usual, that is to say. some ppl say that even if you think it's boring and superficial while you're there, you'll miss it once you really move back to asia. i'm not sure i agree. some things suck - like not having a beach within walking distance of my house or cheap sushi with free delivery - but in a lot of ways i never blended in with the north american way of life. not that i'm exactly cut out for life in taiwan either, but i do feel more comfortable here. i'm hungry. this discussion is way too serious for 7am.
這兩天上班都忙到沒有空吃飯 今天甚至推掉了邀約下午去上班 已經開始有同學指名找我背書或是回答問題了 主任今天再度企圖說服我休學繼續在劉毅上班 其實他天天都會這樣說 可是今天竟然用薪水來誘惑我 今天上班滿一個禮拜 在這一個禮拜裡 有好多轉變 怎麼想都無法相信這一切都發生在短短的七日中 個性變的開朗了 國語進步了 希望也有變的成熟懂事一點 雖然學校方面的事一樣在拖 可是覺得好像完成了什麼事情 認真的開始思考一年後該走什麼路 這一個禮拜內也遇到了很多有趣的腳色 突然覺得 雖然只是個補習班 接觸到的東西有限 可是多多少少還是拓展了我的視野 當然 這禮拜以來最開心的 不是工作 不是經驗 也不是薪水 可是如果沒有這份工作可能也不會有這樣的發展 今天從三點到十點都非常專心的學習與工作 其實到了十點還在狂忙 可是震動的手機喚醒完全投入於工作的我 開心的收收東西打打招呼趕下樓 有個能期待的東西真好 你問我 今天最開心的不會就是被學生稱讚中文好吧? 當然不是 當下不曉得怎麼跟你說 有天 有天我會將一切都告訴你的 希望以後每個看似隨口說說的邀約 都能實現 像今天這樣 謝謝 :) Friday, May 19, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
狂歡之後開始猶豫與不安 為什麼我覺得我沒有想像中那麼開心? 不想要玩遊戲 可是好像被捲入遊戲中了 我覺得我這樣對自己好不公平 總覺得 我似乎自虐的不願意讓自己快樂 我真的好怕好怕 狂歡之後的失落 星期五的ｐａｒｔｙ 到底要不要去? Saturday, May 13, 2006
sidenote: it turns out i'm not working exactly where i thought i'd be working. the offices are not on 重慶南路 as i originally thought... it's actually the building right next to kmall. of course by the time i get off work kmall's closed already...
work was... overwhelming. i got home around 11:20pm, so good thing i turned down clubbing? wouldn't have gone anyway, i think. there's so much to learn. a little bit too much. my co-workers are generally friendly, but they're all so young! once i get the hang of everything it should be alright... i suppose. such a huge mass of information... everything i missed from 3 years of junior high and 3 years of senior high, basically. the hours are the worst part - i get off at 10pm on weekdays. i'm taking the job, but i'll have to see whether i want to really commit to it or just treat it as a temp. now i must go take a shower and start reading for that essay that was due on the 18th of april. to go from completely idle to being intensely occupied... perhaps this is good for me. Friday, May 12, 2006
came across a lot of blogs lately of parents documenting their children's lives. mostly it's baby pictures, recording the progress of their growth and whatnot. there was also this really cute one titled "a day in the life of us". i don't want to be one of those people who end up reflecting that "i never really knew what it felt like to have a family" i just didn't get to be around mine much is all. and by the time i was ready return to it full-time it was already fractured, broken. beyond repair? three people three cities three apartments three lives am i really already too old for this to leave a mark? i feel i'm not quite done growing up yet. never will be, probably.
that new costa rican dark roast coffee... too freaking strong. i'm feeling completely awake and ridiculously upbeat i had just the one cup, more than 7 hours ago! and i start my first real job in 12 hours! it's weird, every job i get i call it "my first real job". i said that when i was at the drc, i said that for my first tutor student, i said that again for my first long-term tutor student... when i interviewed for ams speakeasy i said that was my first real job interview, now i consider this recent one to be the first real one... once again, for a person who looks back so frequently, i remember very little. less than tip of the iceberg. maybe what i forgot doesn't matter? it's kind of like being dead... you shouldn't stress about it because u'll be dead and once you're dead you can't stress about it anymore. i'm confusing myself.
很想聽那一首歌 可是歌名和歌手都忘記了.. 福山... 福山雅治? 好像是 CD留在溫哥華 現在只能聽蘇有朋的翻唱版"你快不快樂" 意境也還適合就是了 (jenny, send me the japanese version!!!)
dammit. should've stopped circa summer 2000. now i'm all sad about things that once were and now aren't.
oh wow... i remember being at 西門町 for the countdown of the arrival of year 2000, but i didn't remember being in the ER during the last day of the 20th century... old e-mails amuse me very much.
thinking about old friends made me go through old e-mails. really old e-mails. anyway i found this. Once upon a time, there were four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it. But Nobody realized that Everybody would do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done. i think the passage is missing a negation on the third line... "but nobody realized that everybody wouldN'T do it"...
我真的很崇拜林義傑. 第一次看到是在電視節目表的封面上 拿到節目表就興奮的翻開了 完全沒有注意封面是個什麼東西 只覺得色彩有點奇怪而已 後來看電視訪問的時候 才發現原來是一個這麼利害的人物 原來台灣這個小地方 除了台北101大樓之外 還有別的"世界第一" 雖然在某些理念上跟我是完全相反的(特別是愛國情操這部分) 還是非常的敬佩,羨慕,與嚮往 真是一個了不起的人 牽連著突然想到 不曉得吳念平最近在做些什麼 google了一下才發現 從失去聯絡到現在 他又破了幾項全國紀錄 考進了台大 在亞運拿了幾個金牌 參加了奧運 出了一本書 還簽了約進了演藝圈 ......... 原來我曾經有個這麼利害的乾哥 就算他忘記了有過個突然失蹤的妹妹 也真是為他開心 今天不曉得什麼毛病 坐在這裡猛為別人開心
"err... ok...." Mary took a dry dive from a hotel room Bobby hung himself from a cell in the tombs Judy jumped in front of a subway train Eddie got slit in the jugular vein And Eddie, I miss you more than all the others, And I salute you brother/ This song is for you my brother Herbie pushed Tony from the Boys' Club roof Tony thought that his rage was just some goof But Herbie sure gave Tony some bitchen proof "Hey," Herbie said, "Tony, can you fly?" But Tony couldn't fly . . . Tony died Brian got busted on a narco rap He beat the rap by rattin' on some bikers He said, hey, I know it's dangerous, but it sure beats Riker's But the next day he got offed by the very same bikers -- the jim carroll band, "people who died"
i've been randomly downloading a bunch of old-ish songs lately, and one of them is nick lachey's "this i swear". is it stupid that this song makes me sad? i mean, it was the theme song for their newlyweds show and everything, and it really seemed like he meant every word of it. still can't get a hold of the original version of paint it black by the rolling stones. vanessa carlton's cover sucks. my blog is threatening to turn itself into a running commentary on celebrities and pop culture. since i've started... george lutz died this week in vegas from a heart attack i think. you know, the guy played by ryan reynolds in the amityville horror? no? nevermind... Thursday, May 11, 2006
love is a four letter word. -------------------------------------- can't carry candy around in my handbag anymore. it melts. -------------------------------------- just remembered my parents used to tell me i'm a typical rat because i like to hoard things. they weren't being mean, i was born in the year of the rat. anyway i think it's true. i hoard a lot of junk, in my room, in my bags... i keep a lot of stuff in my bags. they all look deceptively small, but i cram a lot of crap in there. so i love going through other people's bags if they let me, to see what they keep in there and why they keep telling me i've got too much in mine. current contents of my bag: one very stuffed wallet (not stuffed with cash, unfortunately) one change purse cellphone ipod nano apple flavoured hi-chew candy airwaves chewing gum three kinds of lip gloss one tube of lip balm rose scented solid perfume doctor burt's res-q ointment three packs of tissue prescription pills for myasthenia gravis motion sickness pills painkillers pink grapefruit scented oil-absorbing sheets :) compact powder a purple pen a black mirror a pink umbrella two kinds of eye drops a novel by DH lawrence one yorokobi charm that's not really a lot... is it? afterall i took my digicam and handkerchief out... and i ran out of breath mints. Wednesday, May 10, 2006
back from hualien. gained back the 4 pounds i lost. too much yakiniku. it was oh-so-good though. it seems i have garnered a long-list of must-visits in hualien too. start work this friday 5pm. weird time... amazingly, have not discussed wages yet, so no sense of finality. i've forgotten when my interview was... maybe 2 months ago? can't believe it takes me this long to get my ass to work. through some fortunate miscommunication they seem to think i've only just gotten back from japan, when the truth is i've just been to lazy to call them up. went to the coffee equipment store to fix my gas burner, came home with three pounds of coffee. the heat is getting quite oppressive here. my eyes are exhausted. Monday, May 08, 2006
finally watched shinobi several days ago and have been finding it hard to come back to reality since. it's hard to gauge a general reaction towards the movie. was it everything i expected it to be? perhaps.
i hate people so much. utterly insane, inexplicable type of rage. it's like my first reaction when i see a cockaroach - gross, then hunt and destroy. you have no right to be alive your living serves no purpose you are a nuisiance to everyone else so it's an ironic rage what right do i have to be alive? my presence serves no purpose and all my rage must be a nuisiance take away my anger - would there be a better side left or a hollow shell? Friday, May 05, 2006
just came back from watching Silent Hill. it was both fascinating and terrible. i can't describe it efficiently, so i will quote someone else. "It was good... not great, but good, they coulda cut 30 or 40 minutes from it easy. If you like dark thriller's then you'll dig this one but you won't walk out excited. In short, it starts off slow and sour, has yummy goodness in the middle and leaves a bad taste in your mouth when it's done." - David John
i think my sister gave birth today. i'm not sure cause i haven't called my mom since i got here. i can be such an ass sometimes. why do i have to suck so much at the whole interpersonal relations thing? do i do it intentionally?
the intellectual content of my posts have gone way down. it's always been watered down with song lyrics and what not... then i gave in and posted pictures and videos, and now i can't stop commenting on pop culture. *sigh* so i'm not so much hollow as i am shallow...
watched M:I-3. like most people i was beginning to think tom cruise was really losing it. then i watched the movie and i remembered all the awesomeness that is tom cruise. if i were NO! hell, i'd be married to TOM CRUISE. ok, fine, so i'm just saying that cause i thought it'd be funny. but the movie honestly didn't suck. phillip seymour hoffman as the villian, tom cruise topless / doing his weird running, simon pegg being simon pegg... the only thing that was off - (in chandler bing voice) could michelle monaghan be any more like they're practically the same freaking person. gives me goosebumps. Thursday, May 04, 2006
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