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Sunday, February 29, 2004
thanks everyone for a good birthday...
i didn't really wanna "celebrate" my 20th... but it all turned out alright (maybe with the exception of the scary keg waiters) i wanna remember my 20th, so this is gonna be one of those long, boring documentary posts... friday, 27th- hang out with david all day. :) we see each other pratically everyday but it never seems enough to me. i must be the world's most annoying girlfriend... i had to get up at 5am to finish a proposal... after class we went to eat lunch in richmond, then went shopping in richmond center, but i didn't see anything that i wanted to purchase... -___-" we watched 50 first dates. i didn't find it as funny as the trailer led me to think, and a lot of the humor was jackass-type humour, but it was pretty good, the plot is good, which is surprising for a comedy. we hit a couple more stores afterwards, found out that the lancome gift event was over!! ugh!!! i was gonna get everyone's presents there, haha. well now it's over, nobody gets any presents! :p went to garlic guu for dinner... surprisingly i actually didn't want to go... i wanted to stay in RC a bit longer and then go to ikea, cuz i need a new desk, and go to the arcade... i'm actually into video games now... only the car ones tho. my parents have been urging me to buy myself a birthday present, and i want a PSII... haha, dunno what their reaction to that will be. i think they'd rather buy me a laptop for $1000 more... umm anyway, dinner... but for once we actually made reservations. i think david really likes guu now... ate sooo much... went to stb, sat for a while outside till i couldn't feel my fingers, then went to blockbuster to rent 2 fast 2 furious... but my dvd machine is #$*^#$ so didn't get to watch it... i fell asleep instead, and david had a hard time waking me up to go pick up my car... it was a good birthday~ i kept on getting annoyed with david cuz he's sooo honger, but he didn't get mad at me at all. or when he did he let it go... i feel so guilty, i don't think i've ever been as nice to him. for an entire day!! haha. i just can't do it! i mean, that jsut wouldn't be me... (excuses) saturday, 28th- had a hard time sleeping, so i went back for a nap around 1pm, planned to get up at 4 to phone ppl about dinner... but i slept and i slept and i slept... apparently i got something like 20 missed calls while i slept, plus i somehow turned my cellphone alarm off too, and everyone thought i'd disappeared... woke up and got to dinner very late, but just in time cuz they had to wait for the table anyway... there were two angry guys at the table next to us that called the manager over to complain about the food... it's the keg! how bad can it be?? apparently very bad tho, cuz they were genuinely pissed off... they ended up getting free dessert, and i think i overheard that they left 61 cents for tip, even tho they assured the waitress it wasn't her fault. well... i didn't like the waitress either... very forgetful... and almost burned my face with a plate she said herself was "burning hot"... -____-" and the waiters did a chant thing when they gave me a slice of cake... don't... like... attention... hanged out at shao's, then had bubble tea w/ dewi and hendra, then hung out w/ david for a while... just got home... =___= so, the customary birthday thank you's: thanks jenny for organizing a birthday dinner for me, even tho u weren't hungry and had a bad nosebleed... thanks ppl (i don't know who??? roz?) that paid for my dinner thanks dewi for the krispy kreme... i still don't understand why people would drive for hours for doughnuts, but they're pretty good. thanks lisa for the pink bag~ thanks everyone for showing up~ and thanks david for the pink sweater that i got three weeks ahead of time... heh yar~ Saturday, February 21, 2004
i wasn't in the mood for it last friday, but now i am...
i present, last week's fridayfive (for friday the 13th, fyi) 1. Are you superstitious? i don't like to admit it, but yes. i don't care about religion stuff, or most other superstitious things but sometimes i remember the saying 不怕一萬 只怕萬一 [direct translation: not afriad of 10,000, just afriad of 1 in 10000 (what if)] mostly i stop myself from thinking certain bad thoughts or imagining bad "what if" scenarios in case it really happens, although that's not really superstition. oh, i knock on wood quite frequently. and i don't cut my nails before exams. this developed after i heard about the superstition, but only b/c i thought it made sense, since i have very long nails and cutting them would mean uncomfortable hands which could affect my situtation-dependent learning and then affect my exam results. and i have tons of idiosyncracies that border on obsessive-compulsive that are related to "if i don't.... then...." 2. What extremes have you heard of someone going to in the name of superstition? it was said the egyptian king drowned all the babies of the slaves. was that superstition, or a practical means to ensure the safety of his reign? there was also the medieval burning of witches... obsessive-compulsive ppl have done some pretty extreme acts too. lots of them have cut off their genitals b/c they believed sex is dirty because their religion says so, but they compulsively engage in sexual behaviour. OH, and the ppl in african who cut off women's clitoris and sews something up b/c think it's... i forgot why they do it actually. u notice how nearly all superstitious behaviour ties in with religion? ai. i'll keep my opinions of religions to myself... 3. Believer or not, what's your favorite superstition? FAVOURITE? i'd rather not have ANY superstitions. then i won't have to tiptoe around... i hate tip-toeing around. however, sometimes superstitions are interesting, cuz i always like to know why things are, and i always wonder if they really are why they are. some buildings in western cultures don't have a 13th floor, and some (or is it all) hospitals in chinese cultures don't have a 4th floor (four in chinese sounds like death). and when i was a kid i'd wonder if the floor was actually still there. i was thinking about this in an elevator in the hospital when i was a kid, and i imagined all the ghosts of the ppl who died in the hospital would wander around on this non-existent 4th floor, and they would all gaze over at the elevator as it passes, and gloomily look at everyone who passes... 4. Do you believe in luck? If yes, do you have a lucky number/article of clothing/ritual? yes. otherwise why are some ppl just more fortunate than others? i don't have a lucky thing tho... i have things i like and bring me comfort. 5. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not? it's hard to say... i think there's a few truths in there, and the rest of the space is filled with things that are vague enough to apply to almost everyone. it's hard to believe in astrology as a psychology student... but sometimes it's just so right it sends chills down ur spine...
trying to find out who i am - through the fridayfive:
When was the last time you... 1. ...went to the doctor? feb 7th, 4:30PM, to do a blood test. actually that's going to the lab... the last time i went to the doctor was the week of feb 1st-7th 2. ...went to the dentist? sometime during winter break, had two cavaties, as usual. i need to see the dentist again tho, two sour teeth... sore isn't quite the word here... they're "sour" 3. ...filled your gas tank? erm... i think about 10 days ago? 4. ...got enough sleep? i never feel like i had enough sleep these days... the last time i felt like i got enough sleep was in winter break, when i had a high fever but didn't know it most of the time and just slept alll day for 3 days. 5. ...backed up your computer? i never back up my computer. i don't even know how. pretty smart idea for someone whose anti-virus program has expired for months...
i have accomplished ZIP during my reading break.
i don't know what i've been doing with my time... mostly doing nothing, i think... i try to do nothing, mostly so that i'd think nothing... thinking is a painful process. on friday i had cheesecake with pin and winnie and went to david's house till 3am on thursday i went to watch a bball tournament and had dinner at david's, then we went to sing k and have bubble tea, and back to his house till 1am-ish on wednesday i spent the entire day with david, had guu for dinner, took him to the hospital, and took care of him till his 39.4 degree fever died down on tuesday i had bubble tea with jenny and roz, then went to the beach for a while. on monday i went to granville island to buy tea with jenny, had early dinner at garlic guu, then went to a dance at the plaza with david on sunday i... can't remember anything. on saturday i had valentine's dinner with david at e bei sushi, came home to watch recorded nba all stars, then went to casa dolce, then to david's house. so good, i've only lost one entire day during this break. if u don't count the rest of the unaccounted for hours, that is... is turning 20 really such a big deal? it's just one more day in your life. what's one day? i don't know. but somehow i don't like it. the older i get, the younger i act when my guard's down... most of the time i act like a 6 year old... an unsophisticated 6 year old. perhaps younger than that even... i'm very bad at judging age... i can never tell how old ppl are. the younger they are or the older they get, the worse my accuracy. do most precocious children regress into children in early adulthood? holy crap. i know why i don't want to turn 20 now. there's 6(7) stages of life in my perception of the world. baby, child, teenager, young adult, adult, (parent,) old age. i know the distribution of years isn't even, but this is how life is divided... and i am now crossing into the world of "young adulthood". the period where the onsets for various things commence. responsibilities, duties, abilities, psychological disturbances... what is the kind of food usually first given up by anorexics? meat, dairy, protein, carbohydrates, or sweets? this question was on my midterm but not in my text or notes. it's bugging me to death, i don't really know why. and once again it's nearly daylight again, and i'm still here. *sigh* my keyboard died on me today, for no apparent reason. so i had to get out the one that came with my new computer, which doesn't have the markings for chinese typing on it. surprisingly, i can still type at a reasonable speed. nice. i've lost my aptitude for conversation. i can make small talk with strangers... but it seems i have nothing to say to anybody. of course, the things u really want to say, u normally don't. those get stuck in ur throat, it takes a while to gulp it back down. i think i have too many of those things i'd like to say, they're gagging up my throat so other words refuse to come out. i feel different somehow. lately i really do... Tuesday, February 17, 2004
it's funny.
i've been sitting here for half an hour, and i just deleted everything that i wrote... my words seem... insincere. perhaps i'm just tired of communicating... i don't know what to say... words and thoughts elude me. i feel so empty, it's like a vaccum inside. where did i go? when will i return? will i return? perhaps i don't want to. why should i? Thursday, February 12, 2004
so i lack conviction and commitment.
if i can't commit to studying, then i'll commit to delivering the fridayfive. (worst logic ever, yes i'm aware of it) 1. What's the most daring thing you've ever done? can't think of any right now... perhaps a lot of yelling at ppl i shouldn't be yelling at...? pissing off the wrong ppl cuz i just couldn't care less? i don't know. that's not really daring tho... that's just me. not thinking. haha 2. What one thing would you like to try that your mother/friend/significant other would never approve of? i can't really think of any... my mom always thought joining 30 hour famine is a bad idea. they also don't like the idea of me going to help kids in third world countries, but i don't really want to go myself anymore either. 3. On a scale of 1-10, what's your risk factor? (1=never take risks, 10=it's a lifestyle) 8 when it comes to activities 5 when it comes to matters of the heart 4. What's the best thing that's ever happened to you as a result of being bold/risky? i found david. :) 5. ... and what's the worst? can't really think of any. i guess i take risks only when the chances seem good. does that count as taking a risk at all then? i'm gonna get all philosophical again... when asked to explain the hydrophobic effect, i'll probably write something philosophical...
i need to travel more.
create your own visited country map or write about it on the open travel guide i also need to start studying biology. somehow i've been studying last night as if it's a final i'm about to have in 5 hours. yet i've only read the text and i can't say i understand all of it. *sigh* since when did i become such a crappy student? and why can't all exams be like my english in class essays? ai~~ whatever the result, i will be temporarily free again in 7 hours... emphasis on temporarily... Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Sunday, February 08, 2004
我們又見面了, 4:50AM.
很久不見的孤單, 今晚來告訪 我又眼睜睜的看著時光離我遠去 卻無能為力的攤在這兒 什麼也不想做 什麼也做不了 殺了幾十封e-mail 看著以前的對話 好遠, 好遠 你不再是我的誰 我對你來說 也幾乎沒有意義 那留著做什麼? 懷舊, 也挽不回過去的感覺 那就燒吧 燒了 然後忘了 曾經擁有過 哭過的 笑過的 痛過的 恨過的 對白 這些不是難事 可惜的是 忘不了的 總是沒說出來的話 Sunday, February 01, 2004
there's too many ppl in this world.
i went to the mall this afternoon to see the doctor and i just wanted to chop everybody's head off. i really, really, really wanna learn how to snap necks... here's an exercise for you: list the 10 ppl u are closet to. decide which five of them u'd kill if you must. or u could kill all of them too. if everybody in the world did that, there's be no more humans left, right? i'm not good with the logic. well i guess the loners will still be there. they've gotta be orphaned tho. the orphaned loners will rule the earth. funny thought. note to self: i need to stop purchasing cole's notes. everytime i go to a bookstore in search for cole's notes, i end up buying some other book. today i bought "100 strangest unexplained mysteries". stupid, i know. but i need some light reading before i go nuts.  |