a wee bit braindead but i guess i ought to update, before i forget about what happened on my birthday.
i finally went to class, even tho it was only jap... can't say it was worth it. nothing seems to be worth the effort to me these days... then me dewi n winnie went to eat whitespot on broadway... kinda dumb circling around and stuff, but i reallly dun wanna park in that kerrisdale place ever again. (that's where i hit my car... ><) then i went to find buu buu and went to london drugs, blah... little stuff...

ever since i saw my skin in the car mirror under bright sunlight on monday morning, i've been convinced that i really need to do something about those freaky blackheads... i don't just have a strawberry nose now, it's like a strawberry FACE! so i have all this "deep cleansing" stuff from clean n clear now, cept i have no idea if it works. in fact, they don't even tell u HOW it works.. this is odd. i usually dun buy things unless they tell me how it works. haha~

so pissed off about CASS now... since i haven't sold a single ticket but we're supposed to come up with $108 for the 6 tickets tomorrow. that's just evil... feel extra annoyed b/c they're expecting that u have a family or group of friends to sell it to. well i don't have a family to sell it too, and nearly all my cantonese friends are in CASS!! grrr... and then also the horrible meetings and rehearsals.. we're gonna have rehearsals from 6:30-9pm tmw, 10am to all day saturday, 9:30am to all day sunday, 4pm to all night next tues and thurs... HELLO, ppl have a LIFE, ok? yes, we know the cast members have been doing this more than us crew members have. but i'm sure that just makes them even more pissed off than us!

that said tho, i'm still gonna be a guillable geek and go to all the rehearsals... it'd better be worth it. *sigh*

but then that means that i will have to spend the entire afternoon tmw in woodward libray, since every other time that the library is open i will be at rehearsals... so i have <5 hours tmw to finish my lab report that's like 30% or 40% of my grade?! FUCK...so tmw is gonna look like this...
9am-1pm class
1pm-6pm library
6pm-9pm meeting
9pm-2(?)am b-day celebration
sooo tiring... i can't even go to sleep now yet cuz i have to organize what i gotta do at the library tmw... *sigh*

oh right, wasn't i gonna talk about what i did for my birthday... :p
napped till like 7:30pm at home, then tv-ed with buu buu, i got him hooked on watching friends now, hahaha. then we finally went to go eat, at guu, and they finally had fresh oysters! :) had fresh oysters, grilled beef tongue, kimchee/pork nabe, that thing that's kinda like motoyaki, and other stuff... MMM. but then my stomach got sick... i still went to mondo gelato afterwards anyway tho, hahaha... my stomach is so weak right now, i dun think it's a good idea to go eat all u can eat hot pot tmw anymore... >< but i already told everyone... o-e.

argued non-stop with buu buu all thru dessert, about capitalism - the exploitation of cheap man-power in china by factory owners like david's dad... he kept on saying that i didn't understand the system, i kept on insisting that i understand it perfectly and think it's totally wrong and corrupt and euro-centric. 'eurocentric' isn't the right word tho, the right word would be HONGER-CENTRIC, and OMG that word works for dozens of situations i encounter everyday... this is why i dread becoming a honger... i hate the true hongers. i can't even call it cultural-shock like somebody like dewi could... i'm not shocked. i'm appalled. >____< (no offense, my honger friends, really... noooo offense. *ahem - (dying culture) - ahem* heh heh heh~

now i get why my opinions offend ppl. they are pretty offensive, aren't they. and i dun let ppl talk.. :p

talking about the possibility of WWIII over lunch, kinda depressing. before i remembered how all we talked about over lunch was food and university and our bright bright futures. now we talk about how it's definetly gonna be a nuclear war and we're gonna grow multiple tumors and our skin is gonna start melting and our kids are gonna have three eyes... *sigh*

alright... i've gotta shut up and go work now... damnit... i hate work. the only good news today is that if the strike is over by march 7th, they'll omit one chem lab to make time for making up missed labs... hmm. if my chem lab got cancelled next thurs it would help soo much... but then we won't know till last second.. SUCKS
posted by melody at 2/28/2003 07:24:00 p.m.

helloooo, is it really so fucking un-obvious?
i've had a CRAPPY MONTH
and i'm fucking depressed!
do i HAVE to spell it out?
D-E-P-R-E-S-S-E-D!
forget it... what does anyone care.
posted by melody at 2/27/2003 09:48:00 a.m.

yes... 6:30am and i'm blogging again... :p
ppl on chinesevancouver.com were discussing 校花, so i pulled out my annual, haven't done that for quite a few months... tho yeah, i've only graduated for a few months... but it feels so incredulously long away... and i keep thinking...

"what happened? what happened to what we had?"

it's the kinda question u never really get an answer for, but u kinda know the answer for, but u still can never quite let go... :p

ack... reminiscing. if we could have the badminton tournament at point grey it would be ultra cool, even tho it's a smaller gym than churchill's... but then dealing with the janitor is UGH!!! no let me rephrase that... dealing with the janitor is ULTRA UGH! >< especially if we are to employ "gene's strategy" - book the gym for 5, call the school to say we'll be there 4:30, then show up at 4...

hmm... about pg 校花 tho.. yeah, bella is the best... so sad, pg standards going way way way down... the smart ppl graduated (and raised the goddamned amission average to ubc, heh), the rich ppl graduated (drove all their mercedes and bmws away with them), the pretty ppl graduated (*slobbers*), and... and the koreans invaded. GRRR. if u're korean and reading this,too bad... maybe U are a nice person and all, but i hate ur country as a whole, and have become unapologetically racist towards ur nationality, thanks to hatechinese.com. have i not mentioned this before... koreans set up websites like hatechinese.com, hatejapanese.com, but we can't have a "hatekorea.com", b/c koreans bought that domain. *spits*

o-e. now i'm all angry and worked up, at 6:40am.. this is no good. now i hate it that my mind jumps from thing to thing so quick and randomly...

umm ok, i checked and the "hatechinese.com" url isn't correct... it's something LIKE that tho. ai~
posted by melody at 2/26/2003 10:43:00 p.m.

ohhh yeahhhh.. i've gotta stop forgetting about this...
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY TO ME!!
chinese birthday, that is... for today, anyway.
sux, everyone's 19th chinese and real birthday are supposed to be one the same day, but b/c of chinese leap year or something, it's not true for ppl born in 1984.. or something like that. so my real birthday's not till tmw... *hint hint*

i keep forgetting that i'm having my birthday this year... dun feel like it much, tho i kinda look forward to being 19... not that i'd ever take advantage of the priviledge to go to clubs or buy tobacco... or anything... *ahem*

ugh, 5:30am? i kinda wanted to go to lunch and biol... even tho they'll bug me about celebrating, i still kinda wanna see everyone, haven't done that for quite a while... wednesdays is when all my close friends from highschool have a break, and that's like the only time i see them all there now... but b/c i skip too much, i've only been to like 3 of these weekly gatherings since this term started. :p and the biol, cuz i dun wanna always be asking clarice for notes, feel bad when it's not someone i know very well. same goes for chem, but then i really hate going to chem.. heh. and then remains the fact that i should go to english at least once before the poetry section ends, so that i know how to write my next essay, and my poetry presentation on friday.. AHHH. let's see, what do to before march 8th?
thurs - jap hw, b-day celebration w/ buubuu
fri - poetry presentation, GM, sell tickets! potential b-day celebration w/ friends
sat - pomotion booth at parker, finding sponsors for badminton tournament
sun - wouldn't be surprised if there was a rehearsal...
mon - biol140 final report, biol 140 oral presentation
thurs - chem 123 midterm, chem 123 lab11, chem 123 lab12 report due
fri- math hw due, rehearsals?
sat - the DRAMA!!

ugh. so much stuff... so much BIG stuff, i'm not even counting the little things here. and OMG... i forgot about getting drink sponsor for badminton tournament again... ><

OHHH really good song on radio... must stop ranting to listen.. i'd tell u which song it was, but i'm not very good at identifying song names and singers... music is just music to me... ok, didn't i say i was gonna stop ranting? i think i'm incapable of stopping typing. ah, u're not supposed to put two words ending with "ing" together, are u? must be a grammatical mistake... *shivers*.... grammatical mistake.. ugh.
posted by melody at 2/26/2003 09:28:00 p.m.

damnnnn, i'm supposed to sell all the drama tickets by friday, or else i have to buy them myself (which would be $108)... but i've already asked nearly every cantonese person i know... anyway. if u're reading this, and u speak cantonese, and u live in burnaby/vancouver/richmond, and u're interested... haha

CASS presents "The Cursed Serenade", March 8th, 2003
-a murder drama, with audience participation - if u guess the murderer, u could win $500 in cash!!
- also $15 discount certificate to stone grill!
- proceeds go to charity (S.U.C.C.E.S.S.)

obviously, u contact ME for tickets... by e-mailing me... it's lonely_tequila@geocities.com. i'd make life easy for u by doing one of those html things where u click and ur e-mail program pops up and u just type and send, but i've really forgotton all my html... cept trivial stuff like bold or something... :p

posted by melody at 2/26/2003 09:16:00 p.m.

spent 2 hours reading up blogs and exploring thespark.com's tests... interesting discoveries... i tried taking the "new IQ test", but turned out that it was TOO HARD! so i gave up... that reminds me of something. but i'm not telling - it's kinda geeky... :p

made many interesting discoveries today
1) went to classmates.com and marvelled at how many ppl from my grad year signed up, and how many of them i actually know... i guess that makes me an internet nerd too...
2) found my new blog twin, as i previously mentioned. tho the more i read, the less she seemed like a twin... we just can't have everything, can we... i want my twin! ai. do YOU believe that we come in pairs? that u know, there's someone nearly just like us out there...
3) looked at "how i compared" on thespark.com's personality test, and this guy, dan, added me to his friend list... but hey, i don't know ANY dan's.. wtf?
4) looked at "how i compared" on thespark.com's purity test, and how come everyone i know is 85+% pure, but i'm 51%?? i'm impure... *sob*.

i'd go to sleep, but the music on the radio is so good right now... and i should also get my basketball pumped... i've got it in summer? no... in winter break i think... anyway, a long time, but i never pumped it, but i keep it under my desk and i keep on using it as a foot-rest... which is really bad, it's gonna crack from the crease of folding before i even use it! >< but it's too cold to play right now... too much bad experience from playing bball outside when it's early spring... always end up with a really long flu, that turns into a lung infection/bronchi? infection... for the past two years already.. i dun want another cold that lasts 2 months!!! and i don't want anymore chest x-rays!! i think i had like 4 or more chest x-rays in 2002, from the never ending colds, and that lump on my collar bone, which is still there, i think. but it's less obvious now, cuz i'm kinda developing one on my right collar bone too, so it's balancing out, haha. not saying it's a good thing or anything... still remember talking to the doc about it...
doc: it could be caused by heavy lifting or long term improper position.
me: well uhh, i moved twice in the past half year...
doc: ......................
posted by melody at 2/26/2003 09:14:00 p.m.

聽FM96.1 聽到方皓玟才想起來, 我上次出門時放了一張CD在音響裡, 本來想說帶上來繼續聽, 後決定反正第二天早上又可以聽, 就沒拿上來... 怎麼好像很久以前了...

好久好久沒有用中文寫東西了, 變的非常非常奇怪... 說真的我也很久沒講過國語了... 很怕變成honger/cbc, 可是連我的鍵盤都不幫我--鍵盤上大部分的注音符號都不見了... 所以我打字變得更費力費時... :(

forget it, english is just faster. i found my new blog idol/twin, at lightistoobright.com... she goes to washington U... maybe i could've been there, if dad didn't stop me from applying, saying it's not good enuff. well i applied to all the top schools, didn't i? didn't get in, did i? *sigh* that summer wasted on SAT... i guess i can't say it was all wasted, i did learn some vocab and grammer and test-taking strategies, didn't i? and got to see jamie*. :)

alright... well i'm gonna go read more about my new blog twin now... instead of inserting independent thought here... tas~
posted by melody at 2/26/2003 07:18:00 p.m.

i all of a sudden wanna swim.. or do i? no.. i lost the urge as suddenly as i got it...

did u also know that too much sleep can kill u? i forgot why again.. something about, ur brain stops working... it must be true, b/c my brain's already malfunctioning... i'd give myself another relaxing facial, but u can only put so much stuff on ur face in one day... :p it's kinda sick in a way but i like putting on facial things that dry up and u're supposed to wash them off after 5 minutes... but instead i let it dry till it starts cracking and flakes off a bit... heh~

ugh this is futile... watching my random thoughts turn into words isn't entertaining at all, i dun get why u'd wanna read this crap, but u obviously still are... hmm. i'll go read some published writer's acknowledged and certified thoughts now... been afriad to step into a bookstore cuz i know if i get any new books i'll never do any studying, but apparently the result is just that i'm not studying anyway, and i don't have interesting books to read... -_________- maybe i'll go visit the 2nd hand book store tmw. yes, right in the middle of the weeks i have the most stuff due. :p
posted by melody at 2/26/2003 06:00:00 p.m.

this sucks... when i wake up and it's too late to go out for everyone else, so i talk to them on icq but one by one they all start to go to sleep... i'd change my sleeping pattern, but it's more desirable to just make new icq friends. haha~

most interesting conversations today, or mainly just me talking...

to jen: if ALL my ideas were useless
then i am useless to other ppl,
b/c i can't provide valid/useful ideas
if i can't be used by anybody,
i am 'useless'
i'm not saying i'm a sad existence...
i'm just saying i'm useless.
but i guess i'm not really useless
since sometimes i feel used.
wait, does that mean that...
i should be glad when i'm used?
b/c it proves i'm not useless?
how bizarre..

and...

me: hello0o0o0o0ooo0o0o0oooos
pete: no
me: aww.... ok.... bye bye...

ok, maybe those conversations were more 'depressing' than they were 'interesting'...

slept till 5pm today. that's right, i didn't go to class... why does that still come as a shock to ppl? well i'm not going tomorrow either!! *blows raspberry* or... i'd go to lunch and biol tmw, but it'll just be a bunch of ppl asking me what i wanna do for my birthday again and then falling asleep in biology... but i ought to go... just for the heck or actually going out and absorbing some sunlight.. u know, humans need sunlight to survive... no matter how much i might hate it... OHH YEAH... lack of light depresses ppl... i think it has to be a certain kind of light? something like sunlight or fluorescent light, i can't really remember... that's why ppl get depressed in winter... that's why mom n dad didn't make me go to UT or waterloo. heh~
posted by melody at 2/26/2003 05:59:00 p.m.

only slept from approx 6:30am to 7:20am this morning... and it was really bad sleep too, dun think i even completed a REM cycle. :p but yet i'm still up, at 11:30pm... i lasted all day...

got up early to drive emily into ubc, even tho it turned out that the buses were going in... then i studied in the car for an hour instead of going to english, then went to give roz's math notes back to her, went to the library instead of math...

i think i must be numb... got the math midterm back and got a shocking 36%, i wasn't expecting that at all, i was expecting a bare pass... and looking thru it doesn't cheer me up either, it's hard to agree with my prof's all or nothing method of marking... if i were the TA my exam would've gotten a C at least. >< then i got my jap composition back, and i didn't even wanna look at it... i think i got 33/59 or something, i just glanced at it, i don't even want to think what % that is. then zombie-ishly took my biol 121 midterm, which i doubt i did very well on... highlight was lunch since there was clam chowder, then managed to stay awake thru the 2 hour lab test... i dunno, i seem to have been zombie-like all day... cept when i got home at 5 i just watched tv for another 3 hours, before going to see buu buu and buying food. and then i was dizzy so i came home, but i took a shower and now i'm still sitting here... dun feel like going to chem tmw, but i'll have to go to jap, cuz if i miss another quiz god knows if i'll fail that too. -_____-"

this isn't good, i've reached the "numb" stage of depression... it's weird how i know where i'm at, it's like i have two souls and one is always on the outside criticising the one inside...
posted by melody at 2/25/2003 03:35:00 p.m.

wow... nearly all my entries are timed btwn 12am-7am... there's something seriously wrong with my sleeping habits... or living habits... or... in biol 121 terms - my life history traits...
posted by melody at 2/24/2003 10:00:00 p.m.

nearly 6am, starting to get real dizzy, gave up on studying... for now, anyway.
probably gonna fail biol 121 midterm, but none of the words are making sense and it seems too late to try to understand and memorize them... contemplating whether i should miss eng/math to study bio or sleep... but i'd have to get up to drive emily anyway... ai, i think the buses are gonna drive into campus... dunno why i'm picking up emily... wasn't thinking straight.. still not thinking straight... so many sentence fragments, AHHH!

haven't listened to shino for soo long... just HAD to put it on right now... i'm probably gonna listen to music and daze out for another hour, till it's time to go shower n freshen up etc for class... *sigh* shino's first album sooo good. lyrics/music/vocals all good, musical arrangement so-so... could be a lot better...

*yawn* should i go to sleep?
but if i dun wake up...
oh i'm soo not going to engl like this...

i remember seeing a website, this guy stringed together these images and words to create a virtual poem titled "insomnia". oh he had vocals too but i didn't listen to some of them, i was still using slug speed dial-up connection back then... i found this virtual poem on a sleepless night in maybe gr9? i dunno... a LONG time ago, anyway. lemmie try to find it right now...

HA, it wasn't hard to find... here's the link
http://ccwf.cc.utexas.edu/~swilson/Insomnia.html
u ought to go check it out someday, some sleepless night, and marvel at how true it is.
oops, i'm telling u what to do again... i'm trying to be less bossy...

AHH. i give up... i'll never last till 4:30pm like this... i'm going to sleep.
try to sleep.... set up 3 alarm clocks first... nights... (-______-) ZZzz
posted by melody at 2/24/2003 09:55:00 p.m.

i dun think i ever make it clear to ppl just how much they mean to me... maybe b/c i'm afriad of getting disappointed... >__<
oh well, i dun hesitate to tell ppl i dun like how little i think of them tho, muwhaha~ that gets me into trouble, but i'm not as afriad of 'trouble'... yes... that must be it.

spent my last day of study break doing useless stuff... i blame it on the cancelled rehearsal, i was there at 11 o'clock sharp only to find out there wasn't a rehearsal that day. >< then i got really grumpy and dragged david along to eat, tho i felt pretty sick all day... then sleep... tv... eat some more... finally did SOME work in stb, but then more icq... now it's 2am and i've finally finished jap hw, but still gotta study for biol 140 lab test and biol 121 midterm... kinda worried about the biol midterm, i dun have enuff time to study throughly for it, even if i go without sleep... but if i go without sleep, how am i gonna last till 4:30pm tmw?? >____________<

the study break really flew by, and i realized that my first year in U is ending soon too, final exam schedule is out already... soon i'm gonna grad... or move on to law/med/grad school... whichever way, it'll be the end of another era... that's always something to think about.

saturday was a good day... woke up in time to watch buu buu's bball game (ccs tournament) at 6:30pm... so cool, alfred (aka 6'7" guy) 's blocks... it's like a relatively skinny gorilla jumping up, reaching probably 7'5" or something?? and SLAM the ball down... haha~ it was extra funny when one of the guys started saying "DIU!! 好鬼高ar, 條友!! DIU!!" heh heh. too bad they lost in semi finals against sunshine boy's team. (i'm talking about the guy who actually won the sunshine boy competition)... who went on to take first place, and the st. george senior bball team took 2nd... then me, buu buu, gary n his gf, jackson n chung went to eat hot pot, where i sat for an hour listening to the sour losers. (:P) then went to the airport to see david's dad leave... then me buubuu n chung went to edge, kinda weird, but not that weird... now i finally understand why buubuu is so amazed by chung... a 21 year old guy who speaks mandarin, cantonese, english, malaysian and i think two other east asian languages, started working at 13, still works 60+ hours per week, earns enuff $ to buy his own car plus provide LOTS of $ for his gf, plays stocks deals in real estate, PLUS is good at bball and academics... WOW... the most hilarious part is when chung described how he used to have two long strands of hair in the front dyed blue, and one day he woke up and found out his mom cut them off.... HEH HEH... the mental image is hilarious~

anyway, so yeah, that's my life. how's yours going?
i've gotta get back to studying, i'm already getting dizzy... ><
posted by melody at 2/24/2003 06:07:00 p.m.

i tend to discover the most bizzare things in the morning, which is why i left a sleep-over at 5:30am to just go out, drive, and think... heh.

today (im' really talking about friday) was an interesting day... i got to rehearsals at 1pm thinking i was an hour late, only to find that non of the crew members were there, and none of them will be coming... cept me, of course... but deborah kinda implied that she wanted me to stay... but no, if it's just me, i'm not gonna stay.. they'd probably make me fill in for missing ppl's lines too. *shivers* can't read cantonese fluently... that's why i didn't wanna act in the first place. :p

then i left, went to macdonald's with buu buu, went home to sleep some more, went to dinner at 'the jap place' with jen jenny roz dewi, went to edge for drinks (didn't know how much i missed the 蛋蜜汁 till then). then eventually me roz n jenny had a sleepover, tho it was really just from 1am-5:30am, since they went to sleep and i came back...

i went for a drive all the way down to ubc beach, it was so nice there, as usual... cept it was kinda cloudy and i didn't wanna get off the car... however, the drive back was even better... the sky was lighting up a tiny bit and the shades of blue were nice, plus the moon and stars peeking up btwn the clouds was... once again, NICE... :) it was worth it... then i tried going 160 on the highway. also nice. :p

odd concersations at jenny's... bits n pieces... trying to find things to talk about... my numerology prediction for feburary is kinda true... but what about the last two lines, are those true tho? it bothers me, and i don't wanna think about it, but one shouldn't run away from the problems - they pile up. and then they collapse... and they overwhelm u. ><

already saturday morning... i ought to study today. but i'll probably just sleep till 5pm, go watch buu buu's bball game, hang out. come home n waste time, sleep, rehearsal on sunday... and then get home at 6pm, freak out about my midterm and labtest... heh. that reminds me, i ought to send in the e-mail about supporting the strike and not crossing picket lines to the dean... can't remember if i already did.. oh i think i did... but i'm not sure... can't hurt to send it twice i suppose... hmm. i'll probably go to my biol midterm anyway... it's only worth 25%, but if i dun take it, my final will be worth 100%..... *SHIVERS*
posted by melody at 2/22/2003 10:53:00 p.m.

it's 3:30am and i'm sleepy...
can't sleep tho, have my citizenship written test in 6.5 hours, and i still have a lot to study... i'm sure most canadian citizens dunno half the stuff that i'm reading about right now... and i'm sure the test is gonna be super easy, like everyone said... but still, i'd rather lose one night's sleep and pass it the first time. even tho there's quite a bit to do tmw... test at 11am, then rush to rehearsals in ubc, then dinner and ETP meeting... (ETP = exec training program, we're organizing a badminton tournament as our 'training')

today was such a boring day... went to rehearsals at 3pm but there really wasn't anything for us prop ppl to do, especially since me jenny n winnie didn't end up getting lines at all. :) we're in crew, which means we have to move the props around btwn scenes and supposedly go up and say a line or two, but they let ar dee and what's his name do it... it's funny tho, everytime ar dee goes up and they tell him what to say, it's always an amazingly long line, haha~ and turns out all me and winnie have to do is move a couple tables and chairs and push the sofa around for once scene... the funny part is that for parts of one scene, just for convenience's sake, we have to hide behind the sofa for, i dunno, 10-15 minutes... haha~

after rehearsals me jenny winnie n dewi went to dinner at 'ginger and garlic', this new malaysian place in kerrisdale.. turned out it was more of a cantonese restaurant, and the food was sooo bad... in my opinion, anyway... the satay beef n chicken weren't good, the smoked salmon and baby green salad was literally the worst salad i've ever had, and the 磨磨喳喳 wasn't so good either... eeek. bad dinner that cost $17... much rather be somewhere else... but i dunno. at least it's food, not instant noodles. or.. i dunno, cuz afterwards when i was watching tv the food came rushing up to my throat. *ugh*

yesterday me/jen/win went to help vincent make the door for the play... SOO freaking COLD... and the door didn't even turn out right, it verges on tipping over everytime we open it, and blahblahblah, lots of problems with it.. i was thinking last night about vector forces and stuff and trying to figure out how to balance the weight of the door to support the frame but UGH why am i thinking PHYSICS... after door building me n jen went to eat shabu, then met up with hendra lisa dewi n shao for dessert at lisa's sister's bf's mom's new dessert place, casa dolce... good dessert, but WEIRD atmosphere.. since we were the only ppl in the store... and the server is kinda awkward.. one of those artsy guys... i think i've grown to hate artsy guys, they're all subconciously arrogant. yes, yes, i'm typifying them and i shouldn't, but whatever...

i wish i could throw the citizenship booklet away and go listen to some music and fall asleep... and wake up whenever i want... i wish... i wish so many things...

feeling little again, like my existence is pointless and dispensable... it's like that most of the time, but there's just less and less things to hold on to day by day... and there's also the question of "what the hell am i doing in sciences", and "should i switch to arts" and "if i do what should i major in"...
cuz if i tried hard and studied i'm sure i'd do fine in biochem... but i wouldn't enjoy it, and i dun think i'd do well as a researcher or lab person... haha~ i know what i'll do... if i get an A, or even A- on any of my english papers this term, i'll go into arts... and if it's an A-, i'll go into psyc, if it's an A, i'll go into english... both rather useless degrees, but at least i'll be happier. i think... what would make me happy is if i could open that coffee shop... there's places for lease n stuff right across from my block, and they REALLY need a coffee shop around here... even if i just opened a starbucks.. but then i dunno the first thing about opening a store... *sigh*
posted by melody at 2/20/2003 07:40:00 p.m.

music showcase - 楊乃文
雖然我只喜歡他的第一張CD...
didn't like her music anymore since she found that inner peace and stopped writting good rock songs like "silence" and "monster"... :p

life's been 'kinda' uneventful since the break began.
i say kinda b/c incident/activities wise it's been mediocre, but not in other aspects...
buu buu and i went to guu for valentines. well... we were gonna go to the keg, cept they said it was a 2 hour 15 minute wait for a table... *ugh*. found out that there's a new guu on robson and bute... well i'm not sure, it might've been robson and the street after bute... should go try out the new store someday. sent the car in to chris on valentine's night - he said he'd take care of the air bubbles and all the little things from last time, but i still highly doubt he can do that without repainting it all... then quarrelled with buu buu (great valentine's, really), went for the walk during which i saw the dead pigeon, got home. stayed in bed nearly all day saturday from excrutiating physical pain, finally went out at night to get some stb n return a video... watched my friends lively chatting in stb - it's like a tv show, now i understand what Dr. good was talking about when he lectured on the significance of mirrors and eyes in james joyce's work. hmm... Dr. Good, english class... haven't gone to one of those for like what, a month? well technically i've gone to three this month... one lecture that i ended up day dreaming in, one discussion group to find out what was on the in class essay, and one more to write the in-class...

stayed up all night saturday, till sunday morning 8am... slept till 4pm on sunday. stayed in bed. went to eat pho. stayed in the couch. stayed in the computer chair. hmm. got two magazines and a bag of candy... reading, but not digesting.

speaking in fragments without predicates and subjects... how interesting. this life. mine.

am i entertaining u yet?
is this amusing enough for u?
posted by melody at 2/17/2003 02:34:00 p.m.

losing hair by the handfuls...
considering cutting it short if not just to make the hair loss seem less dramatic.

- anxiety -

once again becoming a creature of the night.
cept it's not an easy thing to be...
went for a walk last night and i saw a pigeon next to the sidewalk...
cept it was dead, and other animals ate most of it
so it was really just parts of the pigeon's wings and its feet
and a whole bunch of feathers and some blood.
i didn't see the head, but i wasn't about to go looking for it either.
kitslano's a pretty crappy place to live in if u like to take night walks..
there's no where to go... well u could go to the beach...
but it's seriously pitch black down there... *sigh*

..................................
i wonder if there's a shore across the kits beach?
posted by melody at 2/16/2003 08:42:00 p.m.

define love:
noun.
a deadly roller coaster ride.
one day he's the only reason to live for
the next day he's the reason u want to end ur life
love is what makes u ask
"why do i torture myself so?"
posted by melody at 2/15/2003 04:13:00 p.m.

ah, sure haven't been here for a while.
nothing much has happened anyway... mom left so i'm spending a lot more time with buu buu again... skipping n sleeping at home as usual... cept i'm on the lookout for the TA strike 24/7 now.. like i have the page of the strike notice open and i refresh it every 15 minutes, haha. i should be studying for my math midterm on friday instead of hoping for a strike, but oh well... it's mel. if i didn't procrasinate, i wouldn't be mel.

i got buu buu alfred sung's "hei" for his b-day, so he was supposed to get me alfred sung's "shi" for valentine's.. but apparently they ran out so he got me "sung" instead... i was like err... they're not the same u know... hei n shi are complementary... 'sung' is.. well.. out of no where... and floral!! ugh. can't stand vanilla and overly floral scents... but i'm glad buu buu got me a gift anyway~ ^_______^ i forgot to say this 2 days ago... but..

HAPPY 30th ANNIVERSARY! :)

i've gone to one class of english in the past three weeks? 4 weeks? heh. i should show up some morning and surprise my "english class buddy".

ai what to do, what to do... it's 2:30am and i dun wanna study, but also dun wanna sleep... oh i know.. i'll eat. that's always a good thing to do... :)
posted by melody at 2/13/2003 06:34:00 p.m.

aww... not doing so well in school again.
got 68% on my biol 140 library research report, 76% on my jap oral...
and nevermind math, the only thing i can do right now is COPY and help to check if the plus/negative signs are wrong. :p
but whaddoya expect, with the little hours i put into it...

i kinda want the TA strike to happen, and of course to happen for weds thurs AND fri... cuz then i won't have to hand in math, i won't have to do the chem lab reports and new prelabs, i won't have to take the math midterm... but then i kinda dun want it to happen cuz i wanna see what i got on my english paper on friday.. kinda geeky, eh? well it's the only thing i'm counting on getting a B in... or hopefully B+.. or even A... haha. naw, i haven't heard of anyone yet who's gotten an A on a paper in first year english... :p

gotta drive mom to the airport in about 40 minutes... then i'm supposed to come back and study study study.. but i'm so dreadfully tired... slept at 5am last night and haven't really gotten a chance to nap yet. o-e. guess i'd better get started with the studying now.
posted by melody at 2/11/2003 01:57:00 p.m.

for some reason, when i was prompted to enter my username for blogger just now, i started typing "plant_b612"... oh i haven't thought about planet b612 for a while... i should read le petit prince again sometime... what i really want tho is to see that play again... the first time i saw le petite prince, was at a play my oldest cousin directed. (she's like ~20 years older than me.. she was a prof at an arts/performance school back then). it was so good n touching... even tho the rest of my cousins fell asleep and thought it was a total bore. :(

i finally watched 'life or something like it'! everyone wouldn't watch it with me before cuz they were convinced it'd be predictable and cheesy. and for winnie - b/c angelina jolie's hair is a pain to look at... but it wasn't cheesy... and u get used to the hair... and it was acutally good... altho like every other movie it's making me sad... :p

awww, me n buubuu were looking at the "2003 car catalogue" magazine and for the 'negative' for celica, it said that it's too noisy... i was like WHAT, the engine sound is BEAUTIFUL!! they made it that way ON PURPOSE!! *sigh*. but there's a bit of truth in all their criticism... ie eclipse's suspension IS weak. the funniest entries tho...
-----
Infinity G35 coupe
+: what, are u BLIND?
-: ummm....
-----
Monte Carlo
+: nobody's gonna steal it.
-----
hahahaha... so mean, but quite true.

i tried to make buu buu a photo calendar today, but the only photos that i could find weren't the appropiate size, and some of them are copyrighted, blah blah... but it really did show me how piteously little photos we have together tho. well he has nothing in common with my friends and i hate most of his... :p

let's talk about my fascination with lipstick!
the commercials are always so tempting... luscious red lips, etc... like any other girl i used to sneak around n try on my mom's lipsticks... but i was never fooled tho, i look HORRIBLE with it. hahaha~ my 3rd aunt's student's parents forced her to take 3 dior addict lipsticks as a gift, and she gave them to my mom to give to me n my half sisters, and the lipstick case looks so cool, and the color (rose panorama) looks so nice, but.. yeah... horrible on me. :p maybe i should try rubbing some into my cheeks... my face seriously resembles a sheet of yellowish rice paper... the kind u use for chinese paintings. >< even my lips blend in with it... all colorless.
posted by melody at 2/09/2003 05:20:00 p.m.

crazily busy day...
7:30am, wake up
9:00am, english in class essay, wrote 6 pages
10:00am, doze thru math
11:00am go to angus for jap. realize jap is in buchannan. wrote jap in class essay.
12:00am skip skip skip biol, meet emily n linda. scare away a bunch of guys with my lesbian-like behavior. :)
1:00pm home, watched disturbing movie
2:00pm unpleasant lunch at whitespot with buu buu n barry
3:00pm. home, sleep.
5:00pm CASS general meeting
7:00pm CASS spring dinner
10:00pm bubble tea with jenny n ann
11:30pm buu buu's smokey and drunken birthday party
1:30am move to #9
2:00am home, shower
2:40am, blogging.

-______- ZZzz
there's so much to say, yet i'm so exhausted from everything. or... actually i amazingly still feel energetic, must be all the 2nd hand smoke, hahaha~ today (7th) was quite an interesting day... except right now i dunno what to say about it...

i noticed that ppl have a general tendency to always want to get someone else drunk, and then go thru the trouble of taking care of them afterwards. why is that?? ah if only everyone can get hypno-tipsy like me. hahaha~ i still dun understand david's friends' birthday party culture... it's always at manhattan... there's always at least $40/person worth of alcohol, and maybe 20 packs of cigarettes... and then the drunkards usually drive themselves home, regardless of the road blocks... but then everyone has a good time, and that's the point, right?

o-e i dun feel like having any sort of birthday celebration this year. or at least so far i still don't... i don't think i'd enjoy it if i had one... i've been trying to recall my last two birthdays and decided that somehow around my birthday i'm extra emotional. well emotional isn't the word... it should be "depressed", "cynical", "sad", "faithless", "lost"... o___0" i dun't know why that is.

mmm strawberries. i'm gonna stop typing b4 i scare u off with my depressing talk. tas~
posted by melody at 2/08/2003 06:46:00 p.m.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUU BUU!!
u're TWENTY now, starting with a TWO!! :)

oh we'll all getting so old...
i finally got the 302 bucks i earned for note-taking last term, and had it deposited into my bank. my first thought was "oh now i have $ to spend on presents". but then "why am i spending my first ever paycheque on other people?"... but then it's feburary, i'll have to spend it anyway. >__< i need to learn to pamper myself, with MATERIAL THINGS... i despise materialistic ppl, but material things DO make me happy, u know... makes me happier when i'm able to pay for it myself, of course... oh right. what i meant to say about the 302 is... DAMN i'll have to pay TAXES on it! ai... thinking of income tax is freaky... me? filling out tax forms?? x__X"

hoping i dun fail anything this term, so that i can take summer courses in the first term of summer (mid april-early july) and be in tw for the rest of it... but if i DO fail something.. or if i fail phys in summer, hahaha.. i'll have to stay for july-late august... aww.

okay, i'm not gonna think about that.. positive thoughts. hmm right. i think i need sleep.. screw jap.. it's only 5% of an ELECTIVE course, and i can study in math if i really care. and i don't really care. it's decided then.. come up with a thesis of some sort for engl and go sleep. YAY~

(yeah i say this but if u're on my icq list u'll probably stilll see me up till the wee hours of the morning... :p)
posted by melody at 2/07/2003 04:25:00 p.m.

sooo glad to find out that roz n winnie both know and like the song, "最近比較煩"... the song keeps ringing in my head, but i never could remember the lyrics, for maybe... 4 years now? however long the song's been out... so nice to hear it again, even tho i'm not particulary 煩 right now.. life + school is starting to get hectic as exam time comes up again, but i dunno, seems like i can deal with it alright... even tho i AM constantly tired. which leads to frumpiness. which sometimes leads to hysterical happiness which inevitably ends in tremendous sadness. ><

totally screwed up my jap oral this morning, i blame all the walking from b lot to asian center... this isn't helping me like the jap prof at all!! and then tmw is the jap composition (plus eng essay), and next jap class will be the midterm... i dun understand why she has to cramp everything all together... worst worst prof... *sigh*

boy i'm tired. tho i shouldn't be... i kinda slept from 9:30pm - 6:30am last night... well i woke up quite a few times... but still that's a lot of sleep for me... i think i'm just tired b/c i know as soon as i finish this blog i have to go study jap and more eng... for a 50minute/600word in class essay, i've taken 4 full pages of notes already, and that doesn't even include what i plan to say in the introduction and conclusion... boy am i going to be screwed. will i, for the first time in my life, be unable to finish a composition on time? hmmm... i'm losing the touch of the 20-minute SAT II essay. heh.
posted by melody at 2/07/2003 04:19:00 p.m.

最近比較煩 比較煩 比較煩
總覺得日子過得有一些極端
我想我還是不習慣
從默默無聞到有人喜歡

最近比較煩 比較煩 比較煩
總覺得鈔票一天比一天難賺
朋友常常有意無意調侃我
也許有天改名叫周轉

最近比較煩 比較煩 比較煩
我看那前方怎么也看不到岸
那個后面還有一班天才追趕
哎唷 寫一首皆大歡喜的歌 是越來越難

最近比較煩 比較煩 比較煩
陌生的城市何處有我的期盼
揮別了家鄉的伙伴現在的我更覺得孤單

最近比較煩 比較煩 比較煩
女兒說六加六結果等于十三
我問老段說 怎么辦 他說基本上這個很難
最近比較煩 比你煩 也比你煩
我夢見和飯島愛一起晚餐 夢中的餐廳
燈光太昏暗 我遍尋不著那藍色的小藥丸

人生總有遠的近的麻煩
太太每天嫌我回家太晚
女友媽媽嫌我長得寒酸
雖然我已每天苦干實干
管它什么 天大麻煩
久而久之 我會習慣
天下沒有不要錢的午餐
太太發現秘書裙子很短
她就買了八千塊的耳環
女兒太胖 兒子不肯吃飯
車子太爛 銀行沒存款

麻煩 麻煩 麻煩 麻煩 麻煩
我很麻煩 麻煩 麻煩 麻煩

最近比較煩 比較煩 我比較煩
我的頭發只剩從前的一半
每天的工作排得太滿
台北的女生有些高不可攀

最近比較煩 比較煩 比較煩
我只是心煩卻還沒有混亂
你們的關心讓我溫暖
家是我最甘心的負擔
不煩 我不煩 只有一點煩
你比我煩 我情愿心甘我不煩

不煩 我不煩 我不煩 我不煩
我只有一點煩 你和我一樣 我不煩
不煩 我不煩 我真的不煩
我不煩 不煩 人生很燦爛 燦爛
我不煩 不煩 你比我煩
你比我煩 你比較煩 你比較煩
我不煩 我一點不煩我不煩
posted by melody at 2/07/2003 04:13:00 p.m.

i'm doing this poem by T.S. Eliot for my poetry presentation in a few weeks, but i have no idea what to make of it... can anyone give me ANY sort of feedback!! ANY!!

"Preludes"

I
The winter evening settles down
With smell of steaks in passageways.
Six O'clock.
The burnt-out ends of smoky days.
And now a gusty shower wraps
The grimy scraps
Of withered leaves about your feet
And newspapers from vacant lots;
The showers beat
On broken blinds and chimney-pots,
And at the corner of the street
A lonely cab-horse steams and stamps.

And then the lighting of the lamps.

II
The morning comes to conciousness
Of faint stale smells of beer
From the sawdust-trampled street
With all its muddy feet that press
To early coffee-stands.

With the other masquerades
That time resumes,
One thinks of all the hands
That are rasing dingy shades
In a thousand furnished rooms.

III
You tossed a blanket from the bed,
You lay upon you back, and waited;
You dozed, and watched the night revealing
The thousand sordid images
Of which your soul has constituted;
They flickered against the ceiling.
And when all the world came back
And the light crept up between the shutters,
And you heard the sparrows in the gutters,
You had such a vision of the street
As the street hardly understands;
Sitting along the bed's edge, where
You curled the papers from your hair,
Or clasped the yellow soles of feet
In the palms of both soiled hands.

IV
His soul stretched tight across the skies
That fade behind a city block,
Or trampled by insistent feet
At four and five and six o'clock;
And short square fingers stuffing pipes,
And evening newspapers, and eyes
Assured of certain certainties,
The conscience of a blackened street
Impatient to assume the world.

I am moved by fancies that are curled
Around these images, and cling:
The notion of some infinetly gentle
Infinetly suffering thing.
Wipe your hands across your mouth, and laugh;
The worlds revolve like ancient women
Gathering fuel in vacant lots.

-- T.S. Eliot.
posted by melody at 2/05/2003 04:17:00 p.m.

i was trying to slow down for tonight's english reading, cuz we've started the poetry section... and well... i usually hate poetry. *sigh* but this one caught my attention... well only the end part caught my attention. so here's the end part.

"As the years go by, my life keeps filling up with names
like abandoned cemeteries
or like an absurd history class
or a telephone book in a foreign city.
And death is when someone keeps calling you
and calling you
and you no longer turn around to see
who it is."
--Yehuda Amichai

i got up this morning, running a little late... so i got ready for school n went down to get my car. this is my "stream of conciousness" this morning...
"oh i'm so tired... eyes are so dry... can't focus... gonna be kinda late if i park in b lot.. but if i parked in the aquatic center then it'll be $5, i don't wanna spend an extra $1.50... i'll probably fall asleep in chem like i did in bio yesterday... what's the point of it all... i could get my notes from james.. or from michelle... but i ought to make an effort, listening helps me understand... but i won't be able to listen. oh well i'll see when i get on campus. japn today is just computer lab + review, nothing important... there isn't a quiz so i can skip it... oh boy jap is such a drag. oh i'm getting later and later... i guess i'll just go to jap. wait.. drive (gas), spend 3.50 on parking, and walk back and forth from b lot for 50 minutes of uselessness? that's kinda pointless... i guess i'll just go sleep in my car in b lot. no wait... that's dumb too... all that gas n parking money. hmm. mom won't come down anyway... ok..."

and so i spent the morning sleeping in my car in my own garage. HAHAHA. so smart.. it was freakishly cold, even tho i had a fleece AND my coat... but i actually feel asleep for quite a while... ai, i regret missing class, but then i wouldn't have paid any attention if i did go. the scary thing is, my jap prof called my house this afternoon... i wasn't home and when she called my cell it was out of batteries, so i dunno what it was about... shivers... well, maybe she just wanted to confirm the oral exam time? i hope... arghhhh... winnie didn't go either, why didn't she call winnie!! *sigh*

so after i 'got off class' i went to 'drink tea' with mom.. london drugs... then went to richmond center for some present shopping with jenny... it's kinda hard to simultaneously shop for ann david and shao... but i did end up getting stuff or getting a clear idea of what i'm going to get... excellent.

well that's that. i've suddenly (really suddenly) lost the urge to tell u about my life. tas.
posted by melody at 2/05/2003 03:36:00 p.m.

somehow really really really wanna listen to mayday's "innocence"... i need the cd back... ai
posted by melody at 2/04/2003 05:39:00 p.m.

damnit... roz IS right. blogger dies on u when ur entry is too long.. aww but broken up entries suck tho. *sigh*

well well well, happy 19th birthday ann.
truth be told i'll never be able to think about ann as 19 years old... but.. whatever.

lately i've been kinda grim on the subject of friendship again... like yeah, a few good friends are still good friends... but most others are just like "ok, what's the point of it all again? why do we bother trying to maintain anything?" *sigh* and to think just a week or two ago i was writing in dewi's card how she was wrong and we're all still a big jolly group of friends... :p

maybe i'm just moody cuz it was kinda sunny today (damn sunlight) and there's too much to do in too little time... wow, i haven't really thought about myself as "moody" for a LONG time now... not since dewi reminded me of it on the ski trip, anyway... i've kinda accepted it as being a part of me now, and being the unapologetic person that i am, screw how everyone else gets affected, right? -_<

since the tub got clogged last time, i put in a filter sorta thing to trap out the hair... so i cleaned it before i showered... and after i came out, there was a whole bunch of hair on the filter again... aww, and i brushed my hair before to get rid of as much loose (fallen) hair as i could already... damn hair loss... damn pressure.. damn school... damn society...

oooook... u'll get bored of my 'frumpy' complaints. i'll stop. i'll stop after i explain 'frumpy'...
frumpy = fucking grumpy...
'fucking' as an adjective, not a verb
and 'grumpy' as an adjective, not a noun
hahahaha... if u dun get it, u're as slow as roz...
that's quite a feat, i congradulate u.
or... it's not really a good thing...
whatever.
posted by melody at 2/04/2003 05:35:00 p.m.

okie dokes.. time to sleep now, 9am-4:30pm tmw... and i realized this afternoon that my biol 140 lab group forgot to discuss how we're gonna do the pyramid set up for our petri dish in the experiment, which probably means that no one will have done it for tmw, which prob means that we won't be able to carry out our experiment tmw... not properly anyway.. oh well. if i really care tmw i'll make something out of cardboard during my break.. sure i will. heh.

a funny thing -- everything i forgot to mention about thoughts about the night market is portrayed with much detail in roz's blog entry, hahaha... stuff about pin being amazing tall... and the stands being bad... and poor lin selling books... and OHHH.. pin's nice white nikes!! ai.. i want a pair of those... but then i already got new shoes.. hmm. aww man... it's feburary -- the b-day month.. let's see...

4th ann b-day
7th david b-day
11th anniversary (YAY)
12th shao's b-day
14th valentine's day
27th peter's (MINE!) b-day
29th lisa's nonexistent b-day

oh headache... >< what to buy, what to buy... or what to make... or what theme for the cards, as ppl keep reminding me.. i thought i said i was thru with making b-day cards... should give all the workload to winnie, muwahaha... but she's so perfectionist when it comes to art; she'd spend 15 hours on each card, and i'd feel bad... damn.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
posted by melody at 2/04/2003 05:26:00 p.m.

this is what i had to say for feb 2nd...
damn blogger always dies on me right after i finish my entries...
how do they expect ppl to sign up for blogger plus or whatever if we can't trust them to deliver basic services?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
yikes, typing with my half dried nails. haha

just logged on to record the events of the day... i just read this short story by alice munro that has to do with this old woman who doesn't really have much short term memory... makes me wanna record every single detail of my life down.. i AM a forgetful person tho. for example, whenever i start talking i'm always liable to go off track and forget about what i first set out to say or do.. so back to the events of 2/2...

got up ~1:30pm, lunch with mom, stb/study with jenny while mom in london drugs... inserted $1.50 into the parking meter only to find that kerrisdale stb was full... go to dunbar stb... study briefly... go to vogue w/ mom for dinner w/ cousin (joisse) her husband.. yummy food... VERY yummy food... mm... i want food... anyway.. T&T for 20 min, then home... study a bit, knit a bit... study a bit more... nails... knit a bit.. etc.. then blog! ta-da~

hahaha are u still awake n reading? i'm surprised, i truly am.
there's a freakish amount of deadlines of stuff all lined up until the 14th (math midterm)... then blissful, wonderful, great, fantastic, blessed midterm break... even tho i actually do have midterms to study for during the break.. YIKES! i said i'd organize a 3-day ski trip, book a cabin n all... but then there's like no snow up there... well, the bunny hill is open, that's all i'm concerned about at this point, muwahaha. o-e.. dun wanna let my sportsmart coupons go to waste tho. and now that i know i can't go on the ski-trip next year.. or i could, and i'd wanna, but then what if i can't breathe on the mountain again, it'd be a total waste of $. maybe if we have silver star as one of our destinations again, i should just rent on hill.. and just rent for a day... yeah.. that would save me a lot of $$. but then still, it'd cost $215 again to go, plus the one day rentals will be expensive also... blak... i'll see. mom doesn't think it's b/c of asthma that i couldn't breathe... it's supposedly some high altitude problem... doesn't explain why i'm the only person affected by it tho, sucks. (winnie is probably thinking: sucks to ur ass-mar!)
posted by melody at 2/04/2003 05:25:00 p.m.

happy chinese new year, all... i said this in the entry that got erased, btw...
anyway... trying to recall what i did on 1/31... i can't remember much... ohhh yeah... went to ALL my classes (what an accomplishment), even tho the engl discussion group turned out to be useless again. then i was gonna take mom to 'drink tea' n grocery shopping, but she already made plans to go grocery shopping with my guardian. aunt ruby ended up taking her to granville island tho.. :P YAY, in 25 days, i'll be 19, and she won't be my legal guardian anymore.. hip hip huuray!! haha. her husband had liver cancer or something, and he got surgery and chemo and all, cept if u've had liver cancer u usually dun live very long afterwards anyway... and my guardian wanted to go back to tw to take care of him, but he warned her not too... it's sad and all, but i have trouble feeling bad for her... REALLY not the most pleasant person to live with... oh i'm soOO glad i moved away.

oh right, back to what i did on friday... so i stayed home n ate instant noodles and tried to knit this scarf i started last winter... it took me about 2 hours of knitting and taking apart to finally figure out the pattern, but now i'm on track lu... it's gonna be blue with some white stripes... hopefully it'll look nice, but i dunno, i kinda wanna take it all apart and do it all over again, haha... cuz i saw winnie's scarf that her mom knitted for her in the same pattern, it was like MACHINE WORK, so amazingly neat... aww i wanna be able to knit like that... i guess i'll have to learn to knit properly first tho, haha... i can do it, but i dun hold my knitting needles the standard way... my grandma thinks it's bizzare the way i knit, but then i'm the only grandaughter who actually sat down and mastered it, heh heh.

OK... ONCE AGAIN, back to what i did on friday!! haha.. i slept for a bit and then went to eat cactus club with mom.. it's weird -- cactus club for chinese new year's eve dinner?? but whatever, mom wanted ribs. i wanted to go to guu, but parking on robson on chinese new years eve?? nevermind how long the line-up for a table will be... the ribs weren't good at all tho, cactus club food is just getting worse and worse! the jack daniel ribs don't taste as good as usual, the hot wings are too dry, the caesar salad's dressing was a little bit light for my liking.. well... the chargrilled chicken breast on the salad was the best part. haha. and call me weird, but the finger-bowls or whatever they're called were nice.. u know, when u have food that's kinda hands on eating, and they give u a little bowl of lemon water... can't stand it when u go to a supposedly nice restaurant, and they dun even have that.. u just have to wipe ur hands on ur napkin, but they'll still be greasy or smell like whatever u were eating...

then i went home.. but went to jenny's at 2:30am... it was probably really dumb of me, but i told mom that they were drinking, haha... come to think of it, i was probably only invited b/c they need me to drive winnie home. :p j/king j/king... ah it was alright... i didn't feel particulary new year-giddy, so i couldn't enter my "fake-drunk" mode... but it was alright...

then... today.... napped till 9pm and went to the night market in tinseltown with jenny jim n ann... BORED TO DEATH. well not really, it was alright too.. everything is just "alright" to me this weekend... we spent like literally half an hour trying to find a parking spot, i think jenny got real fustrated.. if it was me i'd go cuckoo... not just about finding a parking space too, i'm still terrified by parking lots. it was funny, we saw a parking lot with empty spaces, so we turned into the alley to go in, but there was a whole bunch of cops around, and something that looked like a SWAT team van.. (are there SWAT units in canada?) then when we were pulling into the alley, these gangster/slum looking ppl were just dispersing... we were like OOOK... let's NOT park here... the night market itself totally sucked... there was nothing to do, nothing to eat... shao was selling books for his mom, so for a while jenny hung out with jim, ann hung out with shao, and i was like la...la...la... >____< then bread garden for take-out... then home... knitting... then then then the highlight of my day, got to see buu buu at 1am... :) haven't seen him for tooo long... well no the highlight of my day was probably when we were finding car spaces... heh... all the excitment, or anger, i dunno which... "let's ask them for their tickets.." "ohhh signal signal!! DAMN!!".. "HAHAHAHA look at that guy run away!!!' "umm the window's open.." "GOOD!"... "that's so mean..." and then jim:"ticket. ticket. give me ur ticket. ticket!" hahahaha... oh u have to be there to understand... heh heh.. it was funny...

well... that's what i DID for the past two days.. i had a whole bunch about how i FELT about new years and all, but i can't remember them now... it doens't feel like new years here, even after going to the new year's night market... a lot of ppl's weekend is marked by dinners and gatherings and gambling and going to other ppl's homes to 拜年, but i dun't do any of that here... i miss new years at grandma's in tw.. or even dad's side's gatherings, with like 50 relatives, that i don't really remember much of... i miss too many things from the past, i can't concentrate on the present... >< i think mom wanted to spend new year's with grandma in tw this year, i told her to stay there but she insisted on coming. come to think of it, i might be at an all time emotional low if no family at all were here to 'celebrate' with me.. then i'd have to spend it with my cousin and her husband, which would be quite weird... hmm. mom must miss new year in tw too... come to think of it, she's been here for every chinese new years for the past 6 years... ai... and FIREWORKS!! argh... the fireworks.. i miss the 蝴蝶炮... those were the BEST EVER... tho fountain cones here are ok too...

mm... nic is in vancouver loh... i should go stalk him, since i know where he lives, kakaka. o-e... ok... that's about all i have to say, for now.. or... not really, i can talk forever, i just have other things to do... BETTER things to do... heh... happy new year again... and... doesn't ANYONE know why i'm 4.5% acidic? heh.

posted by melody at 2/02/2003 07:33:00 p.m.

awww man. i updated quite a bit yesterday, or early this morning, but blogger was down when i tried to post it, so i copied it thinking i'll paste it later, but i forgot about it, turned off my computer, and went to sleep... it's ok tho... it was an alright entry, but slightly depressing... it's ok to lose a day like that from ur life. it's the weekend again and i'm sitting here wasting time again... had korean bbq with mom and then spent too much time in safeway and petcetera... i need to stop wasting time... right...
posted by melody at 2/02/2003 09:25:00 a.m.